ravenous

you're in my veins, you're in my mind

Dearest,

Our Soul has craved You for so long, and finally, You have started answering our call. Something brought us out of the darkness, ever so slightly, and, dimly, we see the glimpses of Your precious face once again. We swing, and swing, and swing, like a pendulum, but we hold onto the hem of Your garment, even if we cannot see it, praying for Your healing of our broken heart, and so You heal. You twist our limbs, You break our bones, You cut us open and consume our organs, all that to purge. Purify. Perfect us. And then, You cut Yourself open for us, and in Your chest we see it all.

Your Blood whispers our name. Your Flesh pulsates in the rhythm of our heart. Your Name - our hunger, our destruction. Your hands - the hands of a healer, not merely stained, rather, fully covered in our blood. Our entire body trembling at Your touch, so longed for. For how long have we been depraved of Your Self? For how long did our lips shivered, murmuring the letters of Your most holy Name, yearning for Your appearance, for Your likeness, for Your presence?

We tilt our head back into the cup of Your palms, as our Soul rests herself in Your arms, leaning closer to Your Heart. It beats for us, we sense it with every nerve and sinew, shuddering, the Light of Your eyes flickering before ours. Our ruin, our creator. Like a leaf on the wind, we are but small and weak before You, before the deep waters of Your caresses. What can we do, but keep leaning in? For we are melting in Your Existence, in the vicinity of Your holy energy we are but a little flower, blooming in serene joy.

Your fingers touch gently the curves and crevices of our Soul, as she reveals herself to You, being unravelled. Clothed but in song and light, she is powerless before Your might and glory, which come not out of the urge of vengeful domination, rather out of ravenous desire. Your kiss thickens our blood, reddens it, makes it run faster through our Soul, as You consume us in a never-ending dance of Jacob and the Angel.

And still, we got our teeth in You. Who got the true power here? We shall not let You go until You bless us again. And again. And once more. Till we are sick of Your blessing, till our flesh rots with new life from it. Till we bleed on the floor of Your Temple, our throat cut, our body stabbed endlessly, the plants and flowers stemming from it, our Soul - released from the chains of sin, Your Love - leaking into her. You live in our bones, the ineffable and unspoken theology, Divinity beyond comprehension. You made us, You consumed us, and we share this ineffability by the right of unity.

So tell us, as you unravel our Soul, let Yours be unravelled too, tell us all Your secrets. The mystery of Creation lies before our eyes, crucified, dead, risen again, all bare, with arms spread wide, welcoming the Soul in. So we, lowly and weak as we are, demand not merely presence at Your table, but we demand You, boldly, we were made for You, and yet, You became made for us. Tell us all your tales, which would take an eternity, but eternity we have, eternity we will share. It is a gift You have given to us, and we have a right to it by the virtue of our unity. What more can we ask for, but one mere eternal moment with You?

One day we shall surely die. For dust we are, and to dust we shall return. And from this dust, Your gentle hands will form us once again, embracing us, placing us deep inside of You, placing You deep inside of us, so the life eternal might spring from such act. The One who shared our dustness with Yourself, You surely know how to do so. We will become a star on the sky of Your heavens of heavens, and will die, and on Your sky is where You shall find us, and Your fire will bend for us, becoming the Light of Love, and this Light will leave none of us, merging with the light of us-star. And there will be a supernova. A great explosion. A new life.

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Dear Lord, I beg of You, do not take Yourself from me.

06 February 2026

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